Knowing That It’s Okay To Dance To Your Own Beat And To Want More Than Your Average In Life
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” — Marilyn Monroe
To not give a shit what other people think about our chosen life path takes herculean guts and resilience. Let’s be honest; most of us give an enormous shit about what other people think. If we say we don’t, we’re lying, because it’s human nature to want to impress upon others. Have them believe in our everyday façade. The different characters we portray. The masks we put on. We are struggling to let people see what lies beneath and beyond our masks. Underneath it all lies deep-seated vulnerability. And we sure-as-shit don’t do vulnerability. We’d much rather hide behind the mask. Fabricate our emotions, our feelings, our fears, our pain and deep-seated internalised anger and frustration.
A diverse and eclectic bunch of characters on a film set (minus the kick-arse pay-check!) We have mastered the art of playing pretend daily. But what happens when we don’t want to pretend anymore?
We liberate ourselves from a self-cultivated horror movie and learn how to dance to our own beat. We focus on what feels right for us. Listen to our heart, no longer our head. We start trusting our intuition — that little voice of reason. We accept others will judge us and shit on our dreams out of fear, ignorance and jealousy. And best of all, we learn how to stop giving a flying fuck about “the haters” anymore.
So keep flying-your-weird-flag. Dance to your own beat as a matter of necessity. Let others follow the same mundane dance routine. Not you. Because if you don’t find what you are looking for and settle for second best, it’ll destroy you. You’ll always wonder “what if.” Don’t accept the reality of the world in which you are presented.
Go out there and shake shit up.
Be bold and do it flamboyantly.
As Sting says; “be yourself no matter what they say.”
As Nike says; “just do it!”
#1. It’s Okay To Want Something More Inspiring and Meaningful Than The Average 9–5 Office Grind:
Most people, waft through life, eventually ending up in some dead-end job because it’ safe and secure. Stereotypically normal. Devoid of societal judgement. Fine if you want to play it safe. Not fine when you’re looking for something more. As in career-fulfilment on a much deeper level. To do something you’re insanely passionate about. To be inspired by what you do. Something less superficial in life.
But how do you achieve this?
You have to see things in life as a stepping stone towards bigger and better things. And you have to have gratitude for each stepping stone that gets you there. No matter how far removed it may be from where you want or need to go initially. You have to master the art of patience and perseverance because success won’t just fall into your lap. You have to chip away at it. You need to bleed for it, you need to sweat for it, and you have to fight for it. Add a committed dose of “trust dust”, and you end up moving in the direction that you’re meant to be heading in. Doors begin to open, and opportunities manifest themselves.
But if you’re not up for mud wrestling with your inner demons and emotions along the way then stick to the safe status quo. But I can guarantee, you’ll be that old nana in a rocking chair later down the track, a bitter and twisted mess because you gave up when the going got tough and you now live with eternal “what if” misery.
Start giving a fucking fuck about what you want in life. About where you want to go. About what you want to do. About who you want to be. And about making your dreams a reality as best you can.
#2. It’ Okay If “Settling Down” Isn’t Your Thing:
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting marriage or babies.
I’m all for discovering who you are as a person before committing to someone else. So many people instead let someone else define who they are. Because it’s easier and safer. Live your life to its fullest capacity. Seek personal fulfilment first before settling down.
Recreating the artifice of “happy families” when it’s something you don’t want does nothing for me. I’m convinced that in today’s world, most people are getting married and having kids because it’s the thing to do. Kids are accessories (as are dogs) for every contrived nuclear family in society. Be a wife because you want to be. Be a mother because you want to be. Don’t do these things because you feel they are preordained and you have to.
#3. It’s Okay To Not Have “The Dream House” Yet:
Totally normal fellow millennials.
The world is a different place to what it was in our parent’s day. Financial security isn’t a given, and women are choosing careers over husbands and procreation. If, like me, you’ve spent a vast majority of your life moving from place to place and u-turning when shit-has-hit-the-fan, then you’ve had to dump back in on your parents on numerous occasions. Out of financial necessity. But, if you’re going to be “Miss Independent”, expect that surviving on one income is going to limit your options than say your economic forces combined with another.
Unless you’re on a shit-tonne of money it’s hard flying solo. Renting solo ain’t cheap. The property market is tough to break into as a bachelorette. The cost of living is ridiculously high on one income. Unstable job markets. Our millennial reality.
But, everything in life is incremental. Material possessions don’t make us better people. We can’t take them with us when we die. The key is to work hard and gain respect from others when cultivating success in life. Assets are accumulative and so is having your own space + place one day.
You can have these things but not without putting in the hard yards first.
#4. It’s Okay That Mr Right Is Non-Existent For You:
Finding a potential soulmate is the hardest thing in the world. Nobody knows how to have repartee anymore. Eyes are glued to, and hearts are devoted to dearly beloved devices. Conversation is a dying art form.
Physical attraction becomes skewed when you whack a device in the middle of it and the object of your affection. Textual chemistry has fast become the new societal norm, getting down-and-dirty with texts and emojis and doing away with the complicated and awkward face-to-face stuff.
If you’re like me and the contrived nature of all of this makes you want to puke your guts up, you’re not alone.
I profess to be an old-fashioned girl at heart. I believe in meeting someone the “normal way.” That delicious rush-of-blood-to-the-loins-spark you get when you’re turned on by him in all his glory in-the-flesh. Give me an old-fashioned conversation and in-the-flesh rampant sexual attraction any day over contrived internet dating or textualised dating.
If you want the right kind of Mr or Mrs Right, they tend to both randomly and intriguingly manifest when you least expect it. Usually when the time is right and when you’re not trying so hard to make it happen.
Keep looking for your man or woman diamond in the rough. You may have to weed through a whole lotta deadwood. But they are out there. Waiting on the periphery for you to emerge just as you are.
Don’t ever settle for second best when it comes to love. Always expect the unexpected and never lower your standards because why the hell should you? You know what you want so go out there and grab it by the scruff of the neck!
#5. It’s Okay If Travelling Is All You Want To Do:
It’s through travelling that we discover who we really are once we’ve extricated ourselves from our normality. We experience other cultures, other languages, different ways of living and being. Travel truly is extraordinary for this.
Up until this point in my life, every dollar I saved I blew on travelling. I’ve always been the type of person last seen on a plane. Staying in the same place for too long gives me the heebie-jeebies. I’ve always walked on the wild side of life. Choosing my unabashed freedom over everything.
Get your arse on a plane. And take-off. Anywhere in direct opposition to your norm. It’s liberating. And it makes you grateful for the privilege of being able to travel and from where you’ve come from initially.
Go out and get lost in the world to understand who you are as a person and what you want in life. Break free from the shackles of security, and you’ll be amazed at how empowering it will be for you.
#6. It’s Okay To Want Purpose And Fulfillment And Not Settle for An “Ordinary Life” Like Everyone Else:
There is nothing wrong with wanting more out of life. Beyond the material things most people want.
When you’re looking for a more profound meaning in life, and something that transcends you, and something more purposeful and fulfilling than what the average person in society craves, you know you’re destined for a life less ordinary. Destined for greater things. A dancer of your own beat. A leader not a follower.
Let those who want to stay tucked up in their secure stereotypical cocoon be ordinary. But not you.
Let those fearful of their dreams remain fearful, stagnant and frustrated by them. But not you.
Let those who want to settle for second best settle for second best. But not you.
Let the movers and shakers of this world surrender to their own beat. Let that be you and always you.
